MIAMI — You would think we'd have this down by now.
The Miami Heat had the worst record in the league last season, just like the Miami Dolphins.
The Heat has brought in a rookie head coach, Erik Spoelstra, to do the dirty work of rebuilding, just as the Dolphins did with Tony Sparano.
Pat Riley is the iconic overseer of the entire Heat operation, filling the same role that Bill Parcells does with the Dolphins, right down to the hand-picking of the head coach.
Finally, the rosters of both teams have been turned completely inside out and shaken loose, like a foul sweatshirt in need of washing.
So where does that leave us today on the opening day of Heat training camp? Rock bottom, pretty much, but clinging to the rare hope that is afforded any pro hoops franchise.
It's a lot easier to make the playoffs in the NBA than it is in the NFL, and much simpler to see the Heat getting there any time soon with a game plan that features Dwyane Wade getting the ball repeatedly and everybody else in a Miami uniform playing killer team defense.
That includes Michael Beasley, the second overall pick in the NBA draft, who played one season of college ball at Kansas State and won't reach his 20th birthday until the Heat has been to Paris and London for a pair of exhibitions and played 34 regular-season games.
Thus far the kid looks like more of a project for Riley, the breaker and eventually the molder of wills, than Spoelstra, a details guy who said Friday he wrote out five or six plans for his first practice session and then went back to throw most of them out because they weren't perfect.
Beasley isn't going to be perfect, or even particularly efficient, most of the time. What's he going to be, by early indications, is a handful, both for the Heat and its opponents.
Begin with the incident earlier this month at an NBA symposium for players new to the league, when Beasley and fellow Heat rookie Mario Chalmers were in a hotel room when a smoke alarm sounded. Hotel security rushed in to catch a whiff of what smelled like marijuana, and maybe a little cheap perfume on top of that. There were two women in the room with the two Heat players and Memphis Grizzlies rookie Darrell Arthur.
Chalmers and Arthur got sent home, which is probably what they wanted in the first place. Beasley initially escaped detection, but later 'fessed up. Small fines were imposed, with the understanding that anything under $100,000 is small for guys like this.
On Friday, reporters were warned not to ask Beasley and Chalmers about the matter, since they'd already apologized for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, as if there is a right time for acting like the rules don't apply to you.
The media concentrated instead of getting to know the new guys. For instance, Michael Beasley, after jumping around to six high schools and averaging 26.2 points as a drive-through NCAA student-athlete, is it fair to say you've enjoyed the ride?
"I've enjoyed the ride mostly," he said, "because I've got a new ride."
And how do you think you'll fit in to the lineup with Wade, the unquestioned leader of this team?
"We've played a couple of pick-up games around here and we've been on the same team," Beasley said. "I must say we do not lose a lot."
It's the same kind of playful teasing that Shaquille O'Neal loved to do here, but then Shaq, gone to miss free throws and milk injuries in Phoenix, had won a box full of championship rings and NBA Finals MVP awards before he ever got to Miami.
If Beasley can learn to do more than clown around and if Chalmers can play a little point guard, they and the gritty group that Riley has assembled will win 40 games and sneak in to the bottom floor of the playoffs. If the kids don't cut it right away, the Heat will win 30, which is twice what they got a year ago, and miss out again.
"It's a different team," said Wade, who always seems to be starting over with a different Heat team. "We're in a rebuilding stage, but rebuilding can be fun."
You would think we'd have this down in this sports market by now, buying our fun in tiny nuggets in the hope that one day it will amount to something. Then Spoelstra gets asked how he thinks the team will do this year and he says, "I don't think it would be prudent to come up with a prediction right now."
Probably had that scripted too, just like his first few months of practice sessions. This Heat season, however, won't follow a script, any more than the Dolphins will.
It'll be messy, with the sparkle of Wade, as always, and the maturing of Beasley, as if, to keep things interesting.
Dave George writes for The Palm Beach Post. E-mail: dgeorge AT pbpost.com