GRUENE, Texas — Heinrich Gruene — the namesake of this hamlet-turned-tourist-town placed hard by the Comal River just outside of New Braunfels — built a dance hall 130 years ago to give farmers a Saturday night diversion. Dancing was OK with the Germans who populated the area. Not so much with the Baptists.
Dotted through Central Texas are other venerable dance halls. At Texasdancehall.org, a Google map shows a cluster of several dozen in a radius around the Austin-San Antonio corridor. Arguments arise as to which one is the oldest still operating. Gruene Hall claims the title. It's safe to say it's the most successful, since Gruene has successfully reconstituted itself as a tourist destination with a number of bed-and-breakfast establishments, antique shops and good restaurants. You can even get a massage and pedicure in Gruene, a fact that likely would cause Heinrich no small measure of discomfort, being a tight-fisted German.
The dance floor bounces when Gruene Hall is filled to capacity, listed at 800 by order of the New Braunfels Fire Department. I know because I was there recently, celebrating my 53rd birthday with friends in this venerable honky-tonk, listening to Radney Foster, one of my favorite Texas troubadours. That floor bouncing made me a bit nervous.
Some folks plan to spend retirement visiting every ballpark in America. That appeals to me somewhat, being a lifelong fan. I figure I'll be on a tighter budget after retiring at age 85, so I plan to tour Texas dancehalls that were built before the 20th century, timing my arrival to hear bands that strike my fancy.
Gruene Hall is a whitewashed, wood-frame structure about the size of a Grange Hall. Black wooden screen doors hang crookedly on the frames, victims of one-too-many slammings by jilted girlfriends — or so I imagine. The front is illuminated by three bare bulbs mounted into the wall. Homemade, long metal sawhorses keep folks from parking in front, and faded signs reading "Band" hang from each one. The hall has survived uncounted storms and other disasters — natural and not — but I wouldn't want to be stuck inside during a tornado warning. It might be slightly less perilous than hanging out in a double-wide trailer, but not much.
This honky-tonk has no air-conditioning and allows folks to smoke. Usually I'm opposed to both, but the weather was abnormally cool for August. Gruene Hall has tall windows and crud-encrusted ceiling fans that move the air adequately about when the weather is kind. The weather was absolutely altruistic on my birthday night in Gruene Hall. Life is kind, sometimes.
But not so for the band. They were dying up there on the stage, mopping themselves with towels after every song. Radney Foster hails from Del Rio, so he's used to heat, has the routine down. He's a clean-cut guy with a wife and 17-year-old child. My impression of him is he's simply a hard-working artist who could pass for a preacher or financial analyst. His new female vocalist is Kacey Musgraves, from Mineola, who was working her second gig with Radney. A little research indicates she'll be performing Sept. 12 at the Longview Museum of Fine Arts. Check her out. Her parents and grandparents were standing next to us in the audience the night I was at Gruene Hall — proud kinfolk and rightfully so. She is a talented, beautiful young woman.
Here was the juxtaposition: Radney has a white-collar, slightly wild look going, the accountant guy who might get a bit wild on weekends but loves his wife and kids. Kacey is impossibly young, brunette gorgeous, demure and would make any daddy proud. She did that night in Gruene Hall.
The rest of the band sport a ton of tattoos and smoke cigarettes as if they're endangered species, sucked down between solos and drags from longneck beers. Radney introduced his bass player as "recently released from the Bexar County Correctional Unit." I believed him. But they fired on all cylinders while Radney and Kacey harmonized and ran through a two-hour set and a double encore.
My friends and I walked out into the damp air of a post-summer rain, savoring a rare cool night in August. Good thing it had stopped raining, because none of us could hear thunder after a couple of hours inside Gruene Hall, standing in front of a bank of speakers. Next time I think I'll bring earplugs.
Gary Borders is publisher of the Longview News-Journal. His e-mail address is gborders AT coxlnj.com.
