ELIZABETH CITY, N.C. — My oldest child doesn't ask me to sing to her at night any more. She's 12 now and I suppose it's time for her to move on and read herself to sleep, and that's OK.
I don't know how it all disappeared, though, the little child that was so busy wanting to be a grown up girl while clinging dearly to childish things. And while I guess it is a cliché about how fast they grow up and all, it's true, you know.
I never thought I would be the father of four children, not in a million years. Yet here I am, the father of four and that means I still have three that are young and they do love books at night and singing and soothing back scratches as they lay on their mattress, restless from a long day of play.
I don't know what the prescription is for parents who find themselves suddenly faced with the bigger-than-life changes such as children on the threshold of teendom. I do, however, have an inkling that if there is anything I can do to slow down time for just a few moments, I'll take it.
You see, there was a time that while I loved my children, I was scared to be their father and didn't want to be bothered with long nights of storytelling and song singing. I wanted to be doing adult things like pursuing big deals or talking over strong coffee about important matters.
All the while I knew, in the back of my mind, that I wasn't being at all too smart and was perhaps missing out on the most important matters. And it never occurred to me that I could be here, with them, singing songs and telling tales while sipping my strong coffee.
As I sat on the edge of my son's bed the other night, singing a song and scratching his back, I realized what a waste of time all my pursuits have been when held up to the one thing I am privleged to do each day when I am awakened by footsteps thundering down the stairs to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal or a plate of French toast.
Now, while I get that there are pursuits in this world that are important, and I'm not naturally taken to being that keen dad who throws himself into this job of parenting, it had, at some point, occurred to me that it would be so sad if one day I looked up and saw all my babies holding their babies, and I couldn't remember just when it was I was sitting at bedsides reading to them, or holding their hands down the aisle of some large department store as we searched for the toy section.
And while I might contemplate these thoughts over and over, I can't help but be reminded at how remiss I would be if I had not awakened to the reality of how lucky I am to have these kids. Sadly I see it almost daily in others when I'm out and about, just how it looks to take a child for granted and how it sounds when you forget that they are small, un-molded minds waiting for you to shape them, and give them the tools they'll need to make it in a big, sometimes unfriendly place.
So I can count my blessings to four – and five, because I have a partner in all this, my wife – and I can know that the presence of my children has brought to me more big deals than worldly, self-fulfilling pursuits ever will.
Robert Kelly-Goss writes for the Daily Advance in Elizabeth City, N.C. E-mail: rkelly-goss AT coxnc.com