DEAR DR. LeCRONE: I am teaching a group of parents some pointers about healthy parenting and would like to include the topic of helping children deal with events that can sometimes be traumatic for children like loss, change and illness. Can you please give me some ideas on this topic?— A reader in Louisiana
Dear reader: Mental health professionals have long recognized potentially detrimental effects of traumatic events on the mental health of children.
The beginning of school can often be traumatic. Separation from the parent on a daily basis may be difficult for children. Some of this trauma and anxiety can be diminished by letting the child experience time away from parents during infancy and early childhood through situations like mother's day out, preschool/day-care activities and vacation Bible school.
Changes, such as moving to another city, may also be traumatic. Children need to have the opportunity to voice their concerns, fears and anxieties about losing friends and being the new kids on the block. When possible, introduction to new classmates before the beginning of the school year in the new location can be helpful.
A visit to the dentist can be frightening for children. Dental offices have many techniques for making this first visit less stressful, and parents can consult the dental office before the child's first visit to get helpful information.
For children facing a hospital stay, an advance visit to the hospital and meeting with the health care staff can allay some fears. Many hospitals provide videos and other techniques that can help desensitize the child to the fears of a hospital stay.
One of the most traumatic events in children's lives is the breakup of the parents' marriage. Here again, advance preparation can make a great deal of difference. Both parents should convey to the child that he is not responsible for the divorce and should assure him they will continue to love and care for him.
The loss of a pet can be very traumatic for children. This is often the first encounter children have with the experience of death. Helping them understand that death is part of life and that the grieving process takes time are important milestones in their psychological development.
Parents who have the wisdom and knowledge to help children deal with fear, loss, change and trauma can be an important part of children's mental health.
Hap LeCrone is a Waco, Texas, clinical psychologist. If you have questions or topics you would like him to discuss, write to him at 4555 Lake Shore Drive, Waco 76710 or e-mail him at hlecrone(at)aol.com. Be sure to check out his blog at wacotrib.com/hap. And for an archive of his columns, visit www.haplecrone.com.