FAMILY
DAYTON, Ohio — When kids do poorly in school, most parents look to teachers for guidance.
Here's what teachers know but are reluctant to say: Parents are the most important influence on children's school performance.
These are the five most important things that parents can do to help their kids achieve school success:
Send your kids prepared for school — with enough rest and exercise. School supplies, lunch money and new clothes are not adequate preparation for learning. Many kids, particularly teenagers, come to school sleep deprived. Teens need nine-10 hours of sleep, and elementary students need 10-11 hours per night. Kids who routinely don't get enough sleep are much more likely to have all kinds of learning and emotional problems. With many schools eliminating recess and physical education, it's critical that parents shut off the TV and computer and make certain that their children get enough exercise. Overweight and tired kids make bad learners.
Send happy kids to school. Children and teens need a foundation of emotional stability. It's hard to focus on school if you are worrying about your parents' alcohol problems, emotional or physical absence, or constant arguing. Staying in a turbulent and destructive relationship for the sake of the family rarely works out. Create the type of home you'd like to live in and you'll see a big impact on your kids.
Kids who feel loved and happy make good learners. Make your home learning friendly. Have a quiet place for your children to study and do homework. Set up a routine time for your kids to get their work done. Review their homework. Ask to see their papers and talk about what happened in school. This can be a bit more challenging with teens, who may be more interested in complaining about a particular teacher than a talking about trigonometry. This is a great opportunity for parents to discuss their own experiences in school, both the good and bad stuff. Talk about how you dealt with boredom, frustration and failure.
Don't get too involved in school. Kids need to know that you really care about school, but make certain that they see learning as their responsibility, not yours. Don't do their homework or ask to meet with teachers over minor issues. Help them solve their own problems and figure out how to manage nasty kids and tough tests.
Keep school in perspective. Grades matter but they are not the ultimate indicator of your child's value as a person. Recognize that not all children are gifted and should get A's in school. Encourage your children to get involved in sports, arts activities, volunteering and work. Be as concerned about your kids' moral development as their math scores. Pay particular attention to the ways they interact with other people, solve problems, handle failure and manage success. These are the traits that determine how they will eventually turn out.
Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., is a child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at The Children's Medical Center of Dayton, Ohio. For more of his columns, visit www.childrensdayton.org/ramey. Send comments to Ramey at rameyg(at)childrensdayton.org. This article appeared in the Dayton Daily News.