FAMILY
Dear teachers,
I have tremendous admiration for your dedication, hard work and commitment to our children.
However, you routinely make one serious mistake at this time of the year that negatively impacts our kids — you mislead to them about what school is really like. You tell them that learning is fun and exciting. You help to create expectations that simply aren't true.
I understand you want to be positive and professional in the various open houses that are held for kids and parents. You want everyone to like you, and for our kids to be excited about returning to school. However, most of you go too far in describing school as fun. It's not.
There are times when kids get excited about dinosaurs or decimals. However, please be honest with our children, and manage their expectations about what school is really like. You are an educator, not an entertainer.We want our kids to learn, not be amused. Video games and computers are about fun and entertainment. You are about all about teaching and learning. Please help our children understand and accept that difference.
Here's the realistic message that you should deliver to our students:
— School is about learning lots of different things. Sometimes it's really interesting and enjoyable. Sometimes it's boring and tedious. You have to do both the fun and the dreary stuff. There are lots of dull things in life that are still important to do.
— My job is to teach, not to entertain you. I will try to be funny, interesting and exciting, but that's really not my job. I get evaluated by how much you learn, not by how much you laugh or like me.
— Homework is your job, not your parents'. Do the assignments by yourself. Your parents should only occasionally help out if you get really stuck. Some of my homework will be fun but some of it is boring. You learn important stuff by doing both types of work.
— Expect and learn how to deal with failure. School won't always be easy. There will be times when you will get frustrated and even angry. That's normal. What's really important is that you never give up on yourself. I'll help in any way I can, but you have to work hard and not whine. My job is to help you help yourself be successful.
— Treat everyone nicely. I'm very strict about you way you treat everyone, not just your friends. I'll be respectful to you, and I expect you to act nicely to everyone, even to kids you don't like.
— Don't expect your parents to solve all your problems. If something is going wrong at school, try to solve the problem on your own, or speak with me or another adult. Learning how to deal with problems is a big part of growing up.
School is starting soon. Here's a chance for teachers to really be honest with our kids.
Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., is a child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at The Children's Medical Center of Dayton, Ohio. For more of his columns, visit www.childrensdayton.org/ramey. Send comments to Ramey at rameyg(at)childrensdayton.org. This article appeared in the Dayton Daily News.