AUSTIN, Texas — I don't think I know Joseph H. Moss of Austin, but I do know this about him: He speaks for a generation.
Here, in full, is his recent letter to the editor of the Austin American-Statesman (who, by the way, is a wonderful, wonderful person):
"Ink-stained wretches now have new buzz words for criminal investigations: persons of interest. Why in hell can't they continue to say suspects?"
First, we wretches say "persons of interest" because the cops started using it as a new category just short of suspect or perpetrator or guilty son of a bitch.
But that's not why we're here. We're here to talk about the phrase, not its derivation or usage. The following comes under the general and growing category of "The Older I Get, The Less I Understand."
There was a time when I strived to be a person of interest. Didn't you? As you head out to cocktail parties, don't you hope your wardrobe and snappy repartee will earn you acclaim as a person of interest, perhaps even a reader of books without pictures.
Now, however, attainment of person of interest status means somebody is about to read you your rights.
I used to hope my kids would marry persons of interest. Now, not so much. In general, persons of interest now have tattoos. Or, as in the most recent person of interest who evolved into a capital murder defendant, are arrested wearing T-shirts that say "It's only fun & games until the cops show up."
Used to be person of interest was just this side of raconteur. Now it's just this side of Huntsville.
Language is meant to be dynamic. Words and phrases evolve. Today's insult can be tomorrow's accolade. And vice versa. Bad became good.
Remember what gay used to mean? Heck, there was a whole decade named for it. Makes you wonder what exactly was going on during the gay '90s.
At this point I ask a question out of ignorance: Aren't lesbians gay? If so, what's with the phrase "gays and lesbians?" Isn't that like saying people and women?
The evolution of our language also has moved other words from one category to another. Now, when folks introduce me to their partners, I don't know if they are in bed or incorporated or in bed/incorporated.
It also makes me think back to the New York City CPA firm for which my late father worked. There were all kinds of partners walking around there. Even as a kid, I had my suspicions about Finkelstein and Goldstein.
Here's a recent real-life example from a real conversation really overheard at a winery in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario. My wife was at the tasting bar, where the alcohol pusher was swirling wine in glasses and saying winey things like "flaccid, yet horny."
I, a prohibitionist, shunned the samples but was close enough to hear the conversation. The wine-pusher lady looked up as two other women approached. She knew both. They didn't know each other.
Wine-pusher lady introduced one as her "partner" and the other as a "longtime girlfriend." I don't think I have enough space to list the possible permutations in those relationships.
I'm told, in general, partner infers a non-marital relationship. That, I guess, makes it a limited liability partnership.
But I'm for everybody being happy, especially when they find that one, right person of interest.
Ken Herman is a columnist for the Austin American-Statesman. E-mail: kherman(at)statesman.com.