AUSTIN, Texas — There's something peculiar, perhaps even unique, about our race for Texas governor. And no, it's not that we have two Republicans raising large piles of money to tell us how screwed up government is.
What may be a first here is this: We have a former Yell Leader running against a former cheerleader. That's right. We have candidates who both come to us with cheering skills. Jumping and leaping and smiling — oh my. Has this ever occurred in, say, Iowa? No. So, at least our campaign should be, well, enthusiastic — if not deep.
Rick Perry went to Texas A&M University, where he was a member of the Corps of Cadets and served as something Yankees might not be familiar with — a rare species known as a Yell Leader. Or, in Latin, Yellus leaderooni. The critter's range is the Brazos River Valley.
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison went to the University of Texas, where she was a sorority girl and served as a standard cheerleader.
As a Yell Leader, Perry was the guy in an all-white outfit — white shirt, white britches — that made him look kind of like an ice cream man, or a hospital attendant from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
Conversely, over at UT in Austin, Kay Bailey was the one in the Western outfit suitable for waiting tables at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo.
The gubernatorial debate will be about whether the country is messed up because of what's been going on in Washington, Perry's position. Or whether things are messed up because of what's been going on in Texas, Hutchison's stand.
But the real decider should be this: Who'd make a better governor, your regular run-of-the-mill cheerleader or the guy in the white outfit standing up in front of his fellow Aggies, making funny faces to exhort them to make strange grunting noises at football games?
If you're looking for leadership skills, I suppose you'd have to go with Perry. In most states, they don't have college students who need to be trained how to yell, a characteristic that seems confined to the Bryan-College Station area.
It's kind of funny how people are dissing Minnesota for electing a former comedian, Al Franken, as their new U.S. senator. At least Franken was trying to get people to laugh at him. As a Yell Leader, Perry came by this natural. And if you want to yell about that, you can yell into my voice message box at 512-445-3606. Hey, I guess that tip makes me a Yell Leader.
I'm not sure which side to come down on, though. One of my problems is that is I can't imagine how the candidates' cheers will differ.
This is because I can't think of any suitable cheering words that rhyme with "bailout," "trade cap" or "socialist ilk." I'm sure we'll hear those oldies but goodies over and over in the coming months.
John Kelso writes for the Austin American-Statesman. E-mail: jkelso(at)statesman.com.